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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071338">The Best Fake Relationship in the World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen'>DarkJediQueen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sterek Bingo [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alive Hale Family, Fake Relationship, M/M, One-Shot, Sterek Bingo 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:02:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles wasn't sure that he had made the best decision but he couldn't take it back now, not now that he was looking at Cora Hale through the computer and sitting in Derek's lap.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sterek Bingo [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>533</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Best Fake Relationship in the World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><strong>Year</strong>: Future<br/><strong>Spoilers</strong>: Everything<br/><strong>Notes</strong>: This is a completed One-shot. There will be no more written in the universe.<br/><strong>Beta</strong>: Grammarly</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles plucked his headphones from his ears and stood up to go and get himself another coffee. He was halfway through the edits on his manuscript, and he wanted to finish it before he left the coffee shop for the day. He looked around to see who was still left from the last time he had popped his head out of his own little world. It was just him and Derek Hale. The glass doors to the area where Hale was were shut, so Stiles walked over and opened them. Hale looked up at him with the same kind of look that he always had. Stiles wasn't even sure that the man knew who he was at all.</p>
<p>"Cora, no."</p>
<p>Stiles shook his head and walked to get his drink. He smiled as he found it was already ready for him, and he paid. As he walked back, he started to put his headphones in again but stopped when he saw the look on Derek's face. He sat down at his computer but didn't pull his headphones up.</p>
<p>"Look, it doesn't matter why I don't want you to set me up on a date. I don't want it. Blind or otherwise."</p>
<p>Stiles frowned because he had heard his father talking about Deputy Hale and his issues with his sisters setting him up on dates. The last two had just shown up at his house to take him on a date, and they didn't take no for an answer. Stiles really wanted to explain to his sisters that just because he was a man, it didn't mean they could tell their female friends that he's playing hard to get, and they can't take his answer of no seriously.</p>
<p>Looking at the time, Stiles wondered just how long Derek had been at it with his younger sister.</p>
<p>"Cora," Derek said.</p>
<p>"DEREK!" Cora nearly yelled.</p>
<p>"I don't have to fucking explain my life to you!" Derek nearly shouted.</p>
<p>Stiles dropped his headphones off of his neck and sent a prayer up to the comic book Gods that he wasn't about to get killed. He walked toward Derek, who looked up at his with a weird look on his face. Stiles just smiled at him and then walked around the table he was sitting at.</p>
<p>"Der, thanks for waiting," Stiles said before he pushed Derek back into the seat and sat down in his lap. He pulled Derek close and kissed his lips. Derek's eyes widened in shock, and then they dropped down to the laptop. Stiles looked and forced a blush as Cora Hale stared at him. "Oh."</p>
<p>"Who is this?" Cora asked. Her eyebrow, like Derek's, was doing all of the talking. It looked like she didn't believe that Stiles really had just done what he had.</p>
<p>"I'm hurt you don't remember me, Hale," Stiles said with a pout.</p>
<p>"Holy shit, Stilinski?" Cora asked. Her eyes widened, and she looked like she was about to faint. "Oh my God, Derek, the Sheriff, is going to kill you."</p>
<p>"Yes, well. The cat's out of the bag now. Do not tell Mom." Derek glared at the screen, and Stiles wasn't sure that Cora would be able to actually keep her mouth shut at all. Stiles would talk to his dad. His dad was all for helping people. He just hadn't been sure how to help Derek with this. Though pulling Laura over four times in the last week had been funny. Stiles wondered if they even understood why Laura was being pulled over. If Cora was home, she would be as well, but she was in New York for something. Stiles wasn't sure what he had heard his father saying about it. Derek and his love life was the talk of the station, everyone had been around when he had been set up on another date.</p>
<p>"You have balls, man. Big assed fucking balls to touch the Sheriff's son."</p>
<p>"Eh, Dad's wrapped around my finger." Stiles shrugged and leaned in to lay his head on Derek's shoulder, acting like a loving couple. "You ready to go, Der?" Stiles asked.</p>
<p>"Yes. Goodbye, Cora. Make sure that you cancel that date."</p>
<p>"Sure. Sure." Cora looked at Stiles like she didn't really believe it, but she couldn't deny the proof in front of her eyes.</p>
<p>Derek shut the laptop, and as soon as he did, Stiles slipped into the seat beside him. Derek turned his head to look at him. "Why did you do that?" Derek asked.</p>
<p>"Because I'm really sick of hearing everyone bitching about how pissed off you are. Look, we can play this up for a few weeks, and then I'll dump your ass or one reason or another, and then you'll get a little time before your sisters try and force your life to be like they want. Maybe by then, someone else will get it through their heads that not everyone needs to be with someone to be happy. I mean, just because they are happy and in love doesn't mean that everyone else needs another person to complete them."</p>
<p>"Why don't you tell me more about it?" Derek asked.</p>
<p>Stiles slapped in on the arm. "Asshole. If you would rather, I could dump your ass now and then spend every night with a different person. It wouldn't take long for them to start to set you up again so that you don't have to see your ex parading around town with a new fuck every night."</p>
<p>"You know that I can tell that you are lying, right?" Derek said.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm well aware of that, but it's not a full lie. Look, a few years ago, when I was in college, my best friend decided that he was happy in love and I needed to be as well. So I was set up on blind dates, surprise double dates, you name it with every single male and female that gave me a second look. He got my first crush in on it as she needed something to do since her boyfriend was going to a different school than her. I started to have issues with everything. I got jumpy expecting someone to just assault me at the first chance just to drag me on a date. It got so bad that a school psychologist had my room moved. I told them plainly and even locked myself in my dorm room, but they just got the RA to open it. I had a mental breakdown because they weren't listening to me, no matter how much I demanded. They just started to let the dates into my place to wait on me. I took myself to the hospital for a seventy-two-hour hold one Friday morning. I emailed my professors for Friday and Monday and explained what was going on and that I would make up any work and would gladly take extra to keep my GPA. I came out of that weekend a hell of a lot better mentally, and let me tell you I never thought that I would say that. I slept. They didn't even drug me. They just left me in a room alone and got me with a doctor who could relate to my issues. Before that, I had barely slept more than three hours before a nightmare would wake me up. I started to sleepwalk again, and I haven't done that since my mother died. I even started to have panic attacks again, which I had gotten over about two years after my mom died."</p>
<p>"What happened?" Derek asked when Stiles paused long enough to grab Derek's bottle of water that had just a little bit left in it.</p>
<p>Stiles had never meant to lay this all on him. His father was the only one who knew the whole of everything that happened. Stiles was still pretty close with all of them, but nothing was anywhere near what it had been before that.</p>
<p>"I finished out the semester and transferred cities and colleges. The dean of the college got my scholarship transferred and everything. I ended up at the same school that mom went to, and I enjoyed the three years that I had there."</p>
<p>"And your friends?"</p>
<p>"We never got back where we were, but they at least understood what they were doing then. They learned a lot about consent at that time. I ended up staying to finish out a doctorate in psychology, and my thesis was around the idea of consent and how it's not seen as something that people follow when it comes to what they think someone needs. A few of the more prestigious colleges have tried to get me to teach, but I don't want to do that."</p>
<p>"You're a writer, right? I think that's what your father has said."</p>
<p>"Yup. I've done a few lectures, but I love writing. It was something that I got into when I was in therapy following my freshman year. I changed my degree at that point and started to do a degree in English with a focus on creative writing and then psychology. I got a lot of scholarships with a few bits of papers that I did at Berkley following it all."</p>
<p>"It sounds like an after-school special." Derek gave him a smile and reached out and touched his face for a second.</p>
<p>Stiles realized that he was rubbing his fingers across a spot that he had seen a few of his friends at Berkeley do to each other. He had also found out exactly what they were following a supermoon and what was not a weird Halloween trick but real shit. Stiles tried to slot it all in his head as a world that he had learned about in the aftermath of everything. He had thought that he had gone insane when he had seen the yellow eyes of his friend, but then he had realized that he wasn't insane or drunk. It also explained the weird shit that he had heard his father talking about over the years, especially after he had become Sheriff.</p>
<p>"Holy shit," Stiles said. He looked at Derek and moved to straddle his lap. He cupped Derek's cheeks and forced his eyes on him before he let his fingers skate down and touched Derek's neck. The effect was precisely what he thought it would be. Derek's hands gripped him like he wanted to toss him away, and then his eyes flared blue. "You poor thing."</p>
<p>Derek startled, and his body became even tenser. "What are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Your eyes. I know exactly what those eyes mean, and I know you, Derek. What guilt are you holding onto?"</p>
<p>Derek growled, and his whole face changed. Stiles was pretty sure that Derek did it to scare Stiles off, but Stiles just stayed there, looking into the glowing blue eyes of Derek. Stiles just leaned in and kissed him. It was closed mouth, but it was enough to show Derek that he was afraid. He turned his head to the side and bared his throat at him. There was no mistaking that one. Derek dropped his head down, and Stiles could feel the ridges leaving as Derek finally relaxed.</p>
<p>"How did you know?" Derek asked.</p>
<p>"You scent marked me. I ended up living in a loft with a group of two guys and two girls. There was no bedroom, it was this big open space thing, and it was wonderful. No one had issues with nudity at all. I mean, we all got bathroom time, but if someone had to piss, they just came in. I grew as a person, and then one night, I thought that I had crashed a Halloween party, but it was just them, letting it all out on the full moon. It was on to the super moons. They explained it all and I met their Alpha. SOmething that the Alpha said at the time had confused me, but it makes sense now."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Well, he said that he was watching me as a favor to another pack. I didn't understand it but assumed it was someone back at my first college. I heard something of the Hale Alpha but didn't connect it to, you know, Beacon Hills Hales. Your Alpha must have asked them to look after me after I moved schools."</p>
<p>"Hmm," Derek said. "Probably. I know that she went to Berekely at one point and was gone for a week. She said that someone pack adjacent was having issues, and she went to make sure that they were settled. That would have been about the time you were moving there, I would say."</p>
<p>"Pack adjacent?" Stiles asked.</p>
<p>"Someone who is not pack but lives on the edges. Your father is in his role as the Sheriff. He was read into the supernatural in early 2005. When we had issues with a Hunter who was going to kill the family when we had done nothing."</p>
<p>"Kate Argent. I remember him leaving one day in the middle of the night, and then he came back and sat in my bedroom and watched me as I slept. Well, he thought that I was sleeping, but I wasn't. He just sat there and watched me for three hours before he finally fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, and he was gone, but he was careful as hell around me after that. I know that something big happened at the schools as, by the time the next year rolled around, there were like ten who was fired."</p>
<p>"That's because of what happened. Kate Argent had tried to seduce me to get me to expose that I was a werewolf and get her to allow her into the house so she could kill us all."</p>
<p>"You know you don't have to tell me stuff. I mean, yeah, I told you stuff, but this isn't some quid pro quo. You don't have to expose big secrets about your life to me. I mean, we aren't even dating."</p>
<p>"I don't mind. Your father talks about you a lot. I've noticed you around the station, but I never connected you to your father. I should have I mean who else would hang out like that. And not get thrown in jail for accessing the records room. Parrish seemed like he was having a lot of fun tossing you out on your ass."</p>
<p>"Yeah, well, he started when I was like seventeen. He sees me like some kid brother/friend hybrid, and it's weird. I tried to kiss him after I turned eighteen. He was hot, and I was still trying to figure out my sexuality. He allowed it but made sure I wasn't ever going to do it again. I was more than a little worried that I would get him in trouble, so I stopped. We did become good friends, but yeah, I think he looks at me like a little brother."</p>
<p>Derek reached out and pulled Stiles closer again, he scent marked him with his cheek and nose before kissing him. Stiles tried not to do anything weird with that.</p>
<p>"Derek," a voice said behind them.</p>
<p>Derek growled, and his hands dropped to Stiles' hips like he was going to throw Stiles off of him or hold him there. Stiles wasn't sure. He turned his head to look at the man standing there. It didn't take long to slot that face into the man that his father had been in a small sexually fueled fight with for two years. Peter Hale was one of the best attorneys in the area, and he made sure that his clients were innocent before he went to bat for them. He dabbled in all walks of law and usually ended up cross-examining Noah on the stand, and it had started a whole bunch of rumors in town that they were in a hate sex relationship or were still in the early stages of flirting. Stiles wasn't sure which it was as he hadn't been able to make it to court the last two times that they had crossed paths in there. He hated it.</p>
<p>"Your mother got a call that you were doing something as stupid as dating the Sheriff's son without telling the Sheriff." Peter looked very put out by that, and Stiles wondered why.</p>
<p>"You really think I would let a Hale, no matter which one that close to my son without knowing?" Noah said.</p>
<p>Stiles slipped off of Derek's lap but tucked himself into his side.</p>
<p>"They have been making moon eyes at each other for months, and Parrish is a good spy. Now, why is it any matter of yours?" Noah asked.</p>
<p>"You know exactly why," Peter said.</p>
<p>"And this is where we leave. Come on, Der." Stiles knew that the two of them could get into a fight over anything. He walked over to pack up his stuff and held out his hand toward Derek. Derek packed up and allowed Stiles to tug him out of the pace. Stiles tossed his stuff into his Jeep, and he looked around for Derek's Camaro but it wasn't there.</p>
<p>"I walked from my new apartment. It's gotten so bad that I moved out of the pack house."</p>
<p>"And your mother still hasn't done a damned thing about it?" Stiles asked.</p>
<p>Derek shrugged. Stiles scoffed.</p>
<p>"I'm hungry. Let's go eat dinner early then we can go to a movie and then after that hit up the all-night diner for their late-night nachos."</p>
<p>"Sure."</p>
<hr/>
<p>The movie had been horrible, and they had ended up getting thrown out for throwing popcorn and not shutting up. There had been a few people in there that were laughing at them and a few that were the ones that told on them. It was one of the best nights that Stiles had in a long time. The diner was mostly empty; they were there long after the dinner crowd was gone, but before the bar crowd got in there.</p>
<p>"I've already got the nachos in, Stiles. What else do you boys want?" Marnie asked as she walked up to the table. She was looking at Derek as she said it.</p>
<p>"Double nachos?" Derek asked. He looked at Stiles.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I know your appetite, Hale. What else?"</p>
<p>"Milkshakes. Peanut butter with chocolate sauce on the whipped cream and three cherries."</p>
<p>"For you?" Marnie asked as she looked at Derek again.</p>
<p>"Chocolate covered cherry," Derek answered.</p>
<p>"You got it."</p>
<p>"Does she know?" Stiles asked.</p>
<p>Derek nodded his head.</p>
<p>"Dude, no wonder no one acts up in here. She's like a fucking badass for a woman of her age. She stared down my dad before, after he was shot, and he wanted greasy food instead of something that would help him get better faster. He was pissed off and blamed me, but I hadn't talked to anyone in town as I was still at school, and he forgot that I didn't know that he had gotten shot. I yelled at him for two hours over the phone."</p>
<p>"How did none of the deputies tell you?" Derek asked.</p>
<p>"They all thought that the other had. Melissa thought the same thing. It was horrible, really, and I had a panic attack. The pack was the only reason why I didn't freak the fuck out. They handled school for me and got me a ride home. A pack member who worked from home and could work from anywhere. They holed up in a hotel and drove me back when it was done. He was out of the hospital, but it was horrifying. He's all I got left, you know. Parrish felt like shit. He assumed that I had called my dad at the hospital, and he talked me into not coming home. I guess someone actually called the cops on us when I was yelling at him when I got home. A domestic dispute at the Sheriff's house. It was someone new, and they didn't know how loud I can get when I am freaked out. Parrish came and handled it, calming down the neighbor and explaining that while I was loud, we were never the type to get physical."</p>
<p>"I remember hearing a little about that after I joined the force here. There was one time that they actually played rock, paper, scissors for not being the one to call you after your father was winged by a bit of shrapnel. Parrish called them children and called you himself. I wondered why no one had ever tried to make me do it."</p>
<p>"Yeah, right before you joined a newbie was the one to call me. He fucked it up so badly that I thought that my dad was on death's door, and he was only suffering a head wound from a woman hitting him with a frying pan instead of going after her husband. It was something that we all learned, don't let the newbies handle it."</p>
<p>"Ah, that explains that. You sound like you are close to everyone there, yet you don't come around as much as I would assume you would."</p>
<p>"I've been working a lot since you've joined after you graduated from college and then the academy. I am in there, but somehow it seems that I'm never there when you are. I might have to ask dad about your schedule now, though, to make this look real to everyone."</p>
<p>Derek nodded his head and pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket and wrote down a few letters on it before sliding it over to Stiles. Stiles knew the codes well. He knew the shifts there as he used to help his father make the schedules at one point.</p>
<p>"Sure, I can make that work. Maybe I'll come in and hang in Dad's office and write. I've done that before when he's been on a late shift."</p>
<p>"Sure."</p>
<p>Stiles smiled at Derek as their nachos and milkshakes were brought out at the same time. Stiles reached over and snagged the cherry from Derek's and popped it into his mouth. Derek tried to take one of his three, but Stiles kept on slapping his hands away. It became a game, and Stiles was enjoying it. He knew that Derek could have won it at any point, but he never pushed things. It was a good night.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Stiles laughed as he tried to set his beer down. He gripped tight to the table with his other hand as Parrish finished out the story of how they had to chase around a Chihuahua who had stolen a necklace from a crime scene and had sent the deputies who were there to catalog it all into a seven-block chase. Parrish had ended up being the one to finally catch the dog. It seemed that it was a stray who had then attached himself to Parrish, so now Parrish had a dog. It was fucking funny to listen to them all tell it. Stiles leaned his head over onto Derek's shoulder and felt Derek's arm come up around his shoulder. Stiles was more than content. He heard some of the others at the bar making noises. The whole place was taken over by the deputies who were not on duty. There were Stiles and a few other spouses or significant others who were scattered around the bar.</p>
<p>"You okay?" Derek asked as he pressed his lips to Stiles' forehead.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I'm just worn out."</p>
<p>"You just got home from three days in New York. I can see why. We can leave whenever you want." Derek picked up his Coke and took a drink of it. Instead of just passing off on driving one beer and dragging it out, Derek was just not drinking anything. Stiles had tried to push Derek into letting him be sober one, but Derek had told him that he would end up tired as hell after sitting down, and he was right. He wasn't even sure that he could walk a straight line with help at the moment. He was so damned tired.</p>
<p>"Just wake me when you are ready," Stiles said, and he slipped down in the booth to lay his head on Derek's thigh. Derek's hand dropped to his head and started to play with his hair. Stiles could feel himself falling asleep within seconds, the sound of the bar slowly fading away into nothing.</p>
<p>The sounds around him came back slowly, and Stiles wasn't sure what woke him up. Derek's hand was still in his hair, and he smiled as he moved a little, pressing his face into Derek's thigh. They were doing pretty damned good at play-acting.</p>
<p>"You know you are going to have to tell him the truth soon," Noah said.</p>
<p>Stiles wondered what his father was talking about. They had already discussed that Stiles knew about the supernatural to him. Stiles had to finally explain the group that he had fallen in with at Berkeley. It had been a strange night with both of them explaining how they knew.</p>
<p>"I will."</p>
<p>"He cares for you, and I know that he started this as something to get your sisters off of your back, but..."</p>
<p>"We both are falling in deep. I planned on talking to him this weekend."</p>
<p>"Well, I know you are most socially adjusted and all that other shit, but just be careful."</p>
<p>"You think I could piss him off and not be run out of town? Every single person that we work with told me what would happen if I hurt him after it made its rounds that we were dating. I'm sure that if they ever see a single bruise on his skin, they would have me up on abuse charges."</p>
<p>"They helped me raise him. They didn't let me drown in a bottle after my wife died. They stopped me from being so distant from him. He called them when I spent a night drinking and accused him of killing her. It was just all jumbled in my head. They took him, and for two weeks I didn't see him. I couldn't find him, and since it was my damned deputies who had taken him, it wasn't like I could call the cops. I guess I could have called the Beacon Hills cops, but I was a little too proud of that. So one Saturday morning and it had been two weeks since I had touched a drop of alcohol, I came in, and there was Stiles reading in my office. I had the week off, my deputies had covered my shifts, and I had the week to get used to me being home alone with him. I haven't drunk more than two beers since then and only in social settings. There is no alcohol at my house unless you count the beers that are left from that cookout, but I've not touched them. Stiles drank one a week ago when he came over for dinner. He still checks. He makes sure that there is none in the house. And don't think I didn't notice that he gave you a tour both times you've come over for dinner."</p>
<p>"I didn't understand why he wanted me to smell for alcohol. I understand now. They are loyal to you."</p>
<p>"I take care of them, and they take care of us. After that week, when I had to work, and Stiles wasn't in school, he was there in the station until he got to be friends with Scott. That really didn't last long as Scott found girls, and then no one wanted Stiles. I found him outside of the Jungle once, and I made a badly worded comment that I knew he wasn't gay based on what he was dressed like. I felt like shit at the time. Then the next time that I was near there, I saw him outside with a bunch of Drag Queens. They had latched onto him there and never let him go. I think they gave him the sex talk. I mean, I had made sure he knew he could have me get condoms whenever he wanted and that he didn't need to worry as long as he was safe. They taught him to trust his feelings on how someone felt. They are a bunch of very nice ladies."</p>
<p>"Yes, he introduced me to them. They didn't stop petting me."</p>
<p>"He's in this, even if he's not noticed."</p>
<p>Stiles let his mind drift away from him again. He would deal with that later when he wasn't as sleepy as he was right now. It was serious, and he needed to be a little better off than sleep-deprived and tipsy.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Stiles rolled over in bed and smiled as the weight around his waist followed him until instead of tucked up behind him, Derek was now half on top of him. Stiles was more than pleased with how things had turned out with this. He was happy that when Stiles had kissed Derek like he was falling in love, Derek had understood what it meant and kissed him back just the same. They had talked over dinner at Derek's apartment and decided to just go with the fact that they had been dating since the day Stiles had dropped in on his Skype call with Cora and call it that.</p>
<p>The chime on Stiles' phone had him grabbing it. He grinned and dialed his father.</p>
<p>"Hale," Peter said when he answered Stiles' father's phone.</p>
<p>Stiles felt Derek stiff at his back, and Stiles rolled over onto his back and looked at Derek, who was now on his side.</p>
<p>"Hello?" Peter demanded.</p>
<p>"Can I speak to my father, since you know I called him." Stiles wanted to break out laughing. He looked at Derek, who looked like he was about to break out laughing as well.</p>
<p>"SHit, Noah."</p>
<p>"Good morning, Son," Noah said.</p>
<p>"Hey, Daddio. Happy birthday!"</p>
<p>"Well, I was having a good birthday until someone woke me up too early."</p>
<p>"It's after eight. You told me I was allowed to call after eight on your birthday to wake you up. If I had known you were going to booty call the other Hale, I would have called after lunch."</p>
<p>"Stiles," Noah threatened.</p>
<p>"Bye, Dad! Have a good romp, Papa Peter!" Stiles hung up before Peter could say anything back to him. He knew the werewolf had been able to hear that he said.</p>
<p>"Well, that took longer than we thought that it would."</p>
<p>"Nah, they were out on a date three weeks ago. I have all of the people in town willing to spy on Dad. Especially after I saw them have coffee together three times one week four weeks ago. It's just that my father doesn't and hasn't ever liked to have me introduced to anyone that he is seeing. He thinks that I'll latch onto them and be upset when they break up. He casually dated when I was college, never when I was in high school. I'm happy he's trying. I mean...you, and your uncle are pretty close in a lot of ways and so aren't my father and me. I can see why they like each other."</p>
<p>"I really don't want to think of my uncle and your father in bed, Stiles."</p>
<p>"Well, neither do I, but I was shocked. I'm still shocked. I'm processing this as best as I can. I mean, your uncle defiled my father last night, or my father defiled your uncle."</p>
<p>"Stiles," Derek growled. He grabbed the blanket and threw it over them, starting to dance his fingers up and down Stiles' side to tickle him.</p>
<p>"NO!" Stiles tried to get away, but Derek just straddled him to hold him down on the bed.</p>
<p>Derek stopped a moment later, looking down at Stiles with a fond look on his face. At least it looked fond with the little bit of light that was coming through the blanket.</p>
<p>Stiles' phone chirped, and he looked at it before looking at Derek. Derek sighed and plucked it up from where it had fallen when Derek had attacked him. He scrolled through a message and then laughed before he pressed something and then tapped something else. The sound of ringing came through.</p>
<p>"Stiles, did your father not charge his phone last night?" Parrish asked.</p>
<p>"No. I just talked to him, why?"</p>
<p>"Well, I tried to call him about a bit of paperwork that he needs to sign before he starts his week vacation. He wasn't set to leave town until noon."</p>
<p>"Well, see there, Jordan, when I called, he didn't answer his phone. Hale did."</p>
<p>"Oh, I see. I'll...take care of it." Parrish hung up, and Stiles started to laugh.</p>
<p>"What does he mean he's going to take care of it?"</p>
<p>"Rogers can forge dad's signature. It's not exactly something that they do all that often, but the last time was when the mayor was demanding something stupid, and Dad was sick and throwing up. He didn't want to spread it to anyone, so Rogers forged it. This would be the third time. Once was school stuff that I needed, and Dad forgot before he went on a week-long thing in LA for California Sheriffs. He was pissed at himself since it was in the pile of stuff he was supposed to take care of before he left. He agreed that Rogers forging it was okay. Rogers is a damned good guy, and he won't take advantage of it. Only Dad, Rogers, Parrish, and I know. Well, now you as well. They are all good at fudging lines with things that are not fully breaking the law. It's probably something that the courts need, and my dad just forgot. He'll try and get a hold of dad and hold on forging the signature as long as possible, but if Dad leaves beforehand."</p>
<p>"I'll text Peter as well. They can stop on their way out of town. PEter's on vacation next week as well. So they went from hate to this..."</p>
<p>"I think it was more trying to ignore the pull. You, Hales, are pretty full of magnetism." Stiles pulled Derek into a kiss before he rolled to his front again. He wasn't going to be able to go to sleep again, but they could lay there in bed and cuddle until one of them had to get up for food or the bathroom.</p>
<p>This wasn't anything like how Stiles saw everything going when he made the gallant effort to get Derek's sisters off of his back, but he was pretty happy with the results.</p>
<h1>The End</h1>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I write fanfiction for fun. It's a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story!</p>
<p>I can be found on MeWe <a href="https://mewe.com/i/beccaqueen1">here</a>, join me there and we can discuss my fics and whatnot.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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